那天，碧慧從臺灣回來時跟我說“這次回來，發現你柔軟多了”。是的，其實我自己也有發現，但是還是想要做得更好。這是自己做功課後的成績。
不理睬人，是我的習氣，遇到我不喜歡的事情或人，我已經從扳臭臉改善到不理睬了，但是我深深知道，這樣還不夠，看別人不順眼是自己修養不夠，我要學習看大家的優點，要學習成為自己情緒的主人，要學習把聲色變得柔軟些，要學習放下我執。
我有進步了，我自己察覺，碧慧也察覺了。惠佳，要加油哦！
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
人生因為有責任而踏實，逃避責 任就是虛度人生。 Life becomes meaningful when we shoulder responsibilities. Avoiding responsibilities makes our life empty.
今天早會聽到這句靜思語，果真很適合現在的心情。
剛聽到這句靜思語的時候，馬上想到的是，要用來教育馬大慈青們，可是想想，靜思語不是拿來教育別人，而是拿來教育自己的。所以反觀自省，看看自己是不是也在逃避責任。
覺得自己已經慢慢進步了，以前，真的是非常喜歡逃避責任，遇到問題的時候，總是告訴自己還有時間，慢慢來，明天再做就可以了。一直到，來不及的那一刻，才來解決，可是往往都是草草了事。。。平日的責任，也是選擇簡單輕松的來先做，難的呢，都是留著到最後，又是草草了事地敷衍了。。。
最近，真的很忙，忙大愛之夜的公關流程、忙新進志工課程、忙見習培訓的報名和處理名卡、忙等等的。。。可是雖然身忙，心卻沒有盲，因為很清楚自己在忙什么，心也沒有盲，我想這就是進步的其中一個表現吧。一個月前，很擔心大愛之夜的到來，公關接待的部分，擔心自己漏東漏西，雖然已經做了很多次，卻還是很擔心自己做不好，甚至有想說，時間還沒到，等下再做就好。還好，自己的頭腦還是清醒的，知道，雖然自己很怕做這些，卻不可以逃避，因為今天的逃避，將來要面對的後果，或許比現在的責任更可怕。再來，我也不想虛度自己的人生，所以選擇面對。
面對，不一定最難過。呵呵，是的，因為這次的勇於面對，讓我自己成長了很多，自己學會不逃避，自己學會了提高效率，自己學會了輕重緩急，還學會了思考。
感恩自己認真的接受了 上人的教育，也感恩自己身邊的環境都存在著善法，感恩自己的每一天、感恩自己面對的每一件事。
剛聽到這句靜思語的時候，馬上想到的是，要用來教育馬大慈青們，可是想想，靜思語不是拿來教育別人，而是拿來教育自己的。所以反觀自省，看看自己是不是也在逃避責任。
覺得自己已經慢慢進步了，以前，真的是非常喜歡逃避責任，遇到問題的時候，總是告訴自己還有時間，慢慢來，明天再做就可以了。一直到，來不及的那一刻，才來解決，可是往往都是草草了事。。。平日的責任，也是選擇簡單輕松的來先做，難的呢，都是留著到最後，又是草草了事地敷衍了。。。
最近，真的很忙，忙大愛之夜的公關流程、忙新進志工課程、忙見習培訓的報名和處理名卡、忙等等的。。。可是雖然身忙，心卻沒有盲，因為很清楚自己在忙什么，心也沒有盲，我想這就是進步的其中一個表現吧。一個月前，很擔心大愛之夜的到來，公關接待的部分，擔心自己漏東漏西，雖然已經做了很多次，卻還是很擔心自己做不好，甚至有想說，時間還沒到，等下再做就好。還好，自己的頭腦還是清醒的，知道，雖然自己很怕做這些，卻不可以逃避，因為今天的逃避，將來要面對的後果，或許比現在的責任更可怕。再來，我也不想虛度自己的人生，所以選擇面對。
面對，不一定最難過。呵呵，是的，因為這次的勇於面對，讓我自己成長了很多，自己學會不逃避，自己學會了提高效率，自己學會了輕重緩急，還學會了思考。
感恩自己認真的接受了 上人的教育，也感恩自己身邊的環境都存在著善法，感恩自己的每一天、感恩自己面對的每一件事。
Monday, March 22, 2010
懷念家鄉的味道
呵呵，又從家鄉回來了，“懷念家鄉的味道“是從facebook上看到的一句話。是的，每次從家鄉回來（其實是這次和上次比較。。。）都會很懷念家鄉的味道。我的家庭，變了很多，之前我剛來吉隆坡時，都沒有好好地去看看我的家庭，直到最近，才認真地去看了自己的家庭。
我的爸爸，為家庭忙碌了大半輩子，是個大好男人，可是呢，爸爸總是喜歡往外跑，不喜歡待在家裡，夜晚時，就剩下媽媽和弟弟們在家。媽媽呢，是個好女人，包容能力極強，看過媽媽很厲害忍耐，也看到媽媽每當傷心難過都是自己在一旁哭泣。我來了吉隆坡，妹妹來了吉隆坡，家裡就只剩下爸媽和三個弟弟了。然，這次回去，二弟也去新山讀書了，不久後，大弟也將申請到大學，去大學念書了，雖然還不知道去哪里，但是不管去哪里，都是不會在家了，那么到時候，家裡就真的只剩爸媽和小弟了。
我想回家找工作，卻有點力不從心。想要多點回家，卻心有余而力不足，真是矛盾。
加油，這次的回家，就是好的開始，要真正去顧家了。Dear mum&dad, I love you both
我的爸爸，為家庭忙碌了大半輩子，是個大好男人，可是呢，爸爸總是喜歡往外跑，不喜歡待在家裡，夜晚時，就剩下媽媽和弟弟們在家。媽媽呢，是個好女人，包容能力極強，看過媽媽很厲害忍耐，也看到媽媽每當傷心難過都是自己在一旁哭泣。我來了吉隆坡，妹妹來了吉隆坡，家裡就只剩下爸媽和三個弟弟了。然，這次回去，二弟也去新山讀書了，不久後，大弟也將申請到大學，去大學念書了，雖然還不知道去哪里，但是不管去哪里，都是不會在家了，那么到時候，家裡就真的只剩爸媽和小弟了。
我想回家找工作，卻有點力不從心。想要多點回家，卻心有余而力不足，真是矛盾。
加油，這次的回家，就是好的開始，要真正去顧家了。Dear mum&dad, I love you both
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Taiwan Charity Has Global Reach
分享華爾街日報一篇介紹慈濟在全球的報導
By SIMON MONTLAKE
Shanlin, Taiwan and Cengkareng, Indonesia
Inside a tent, a poster on the wall tells a story of ruin and resilience: Aid workers in neat blue-and-white uniforms scrape gooey gray mud off an abandoned street in the wake of a destructive typhoon. Outside the tent is a picture of renewal: A new settlement rises in a broad green valley in the town of Shanlin.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Hsieh Ching-kuei, Tzu Chi's international relief director, at a foundation recycling and blanket-distribution center near Taipei. The blankets feature the foundation logo: eight petals of a lotus flower meant to represent Buddhism's eight-fold path, and a sailboat, signifying the ship of compassion that Tzu Chi steers to save all beings that suffer.
The Great Love village, complete with earthquake-resistant schools, churches and houses, will eventually accommodate 1,500 families displaced when Typhoon Morakot pummeled Taiwan last August, triggering floods and landslides that killed 700 people and left tens of thousands homeless.
Many of the new Great Love residents, who began to move in last month, are Taiwanese aborigines who lived in marginal highland communities before the typhoon hit.
The land was set aside by the Taiwanese government for typhoon survivors. But the $94 million project has been funded, designed and executed by Tzu Chi, a Taiwanese Buddhist charity known for its rapid response to the island's all-too frequent natural disasters. When it's not digging out mud-strewn villages, Tzu Chi keeps busy healing the sick, feeding the needy and recycling the island's trash.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
A village building under construction—some residents moved in after Chinese New year.
In Taiwan, Tzu Chi volunteers in their white pants and navy-blue polo shirts are a familiar sight, and the group operates a popular cable-TV channel, also called Great Love. (The charity takes its name from one of its tenets: Every heart is capable of "priceless, great love.")
Largely unknown in the West, Tzu Chi has more regular donors (10 million, mostly Buddhist) and active volunteers (two million) than any other charity based in greater China. In 2008, it raised $314 million. It has built dozens of schools on the island, and six hospitals there bear the "Tzu Chi" name, which is a combination of two characters; the first is an honorific for mother, the second means charity.
But the reach of this 44-year-old charity now extends across much of the developing world, from Ethiopia to El Salvador to Myanmar, and it offers a view of how Asian philanthropy may evolve in an era of rising affluence. Roughly a third of Tzu Chi's regular donors live outside Taiwan; the charity has 399 offices in 47 countries running local projects and raising money for relief and development. This is foreign aid, with Taiwanese characteristics, and it has proven to be powerfully effective in providing disaster relief. What it isn't, however, is a platform for Buddhist proselytizing.
Until now, philanthropy in Asia has usually meant giving to local causes. By branching into cross-border humanitarian relief, Tzu Chi has become the first Asia-based Buddhist organization to enter a field dominated by large Western aid groups.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Ing Jen-zhu, 58, a survivor of Typhoon Morakot, works at the construction site of the Great Love village in Shanlin.
Asia "no longer has to be reliant on help from outside," says Richard Madsen, a sociologist at the University of California, San Diego, who has studied Taiwan's Buddhist nongovernmental organizations, among which Tzu Chi is the biggest and has the most global reach. As Asians become more affluent, he adds, "They can start to be generous and proactive to solve problems around the world."
Tzu Chi's roots lie on Taiwan's hardscrabble east coast. In 1966, Cheng Yen, a Buddhist nun now 72 years old, started an association of nuns and housewives who pooled their savings to help poor families. Dharma Master Cheng Yen, as she is known, has said that she was inspired by three visiting Catholic nuns who asked her what social services Taiwan's Buddhists provided.
The organization began to focus on offering Western medicine to needy Taiwanese and later opened a teaching hospital in the eastern city of Hualien. The hospital now has Asia's largest bone-marrow bank, which is open to anyone.
Tzu Chi has a full-time paid staff of 800 in Taiwan, excluding employees of the TV channel and hospital; they tap into its army of volunteers—many of them retirees—around the world. Its donors are global, too: For disaster relief outside Taiwan, much of the money is raised through local chapters, says Her Rey-sheng, a Tzu Chi spokesman based in Hualien.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Her Rey-sheng, a spokesman for the Tzu Chi foundation.
The Great Love village in Cengkareng, Indonesia, which houses 800 families displaced from Jakarta slums by flooding in 2002, was paid for entirely by donations from Indonesians—including the Widjajas, the ethnic-Chinese family behind agribusiness conglomerate Sinar Mas Group. Tzu Chi has 35,000 regular donors in Indonesia and an annual local budget of more than $10 million. The Jakarta chapter runs an Indonesian affiliate of Great Love TV and sends relief teams of Indonesian physicians to disaster zones such as the earthquake-hit city of Padang on Sumatra Island, where more than 1,000 people died last October.
The Cengkareng village, which opened in 2003, boasts a recycling center, a spacious school and a 31-bed hospital that treats patients—including nonresidents—for free.
On a recent morning, Hanafi, a 76-year-old retired civil servant who goes by one name and lives in a nearby town, sat waiting for a cataract screening on the third floor of the Cengkareng hospital. He had not been able to see out of his cloudy eyes in several months, he said. After a local doctor at a public clinic told him about the free surgery at this hospital, his daughter brought him in.
While he waited his turn, he prayed that the Indonesia Tzu Chi Hospital doctors could restore his sight. Like most Indonesians, Mr. Hanafi is a Muslim. Told that Tzu Chi is a Buddhist group, he seems unruffled. "The important thing is that it's a good organization," he says. "I don't know anything about the religion."
That suits Tzu Chi just fine. It forbids proselytizing by volunteers, though anyone is welcome to join the Buddhist prayer sessions held at its local chapters, its hospitals and at disaster sites. People of other faiths aren't excluded from the charity's lay activities, such as disaster relief. Indeed, Tzu Chi's volunteer medical corps in Indonesia is mostly Muslim.
Such localization holds the key to Tzu Chi's growth, says Mark O'Neill, author of "A Silent Revolution—the Tzu Chi Story." Its offices around the world are headed by Taiwanese expatriates or overseas Chinese. Ethnic-Chinese minorities in countries such as Indonesia and the Philippines often are among the first to volunteer. Western relief groups such as Mercy Corps and Save the Children often coordinate with their respective embassies in disaster areas, but Tzu Chi doesn't. In fact, in many countries where Taiwan has no official ties and thus no embassy, including the U.S., it still maintains a presence.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Yi-zhi, 75, an aboriginal chief, wears a traditional hunter's deer hat.
At times, this isolation can be an advantage. Within days of the massive cyclone that struck the southern coastline of Myanmar in May 2008, Tzu Chi and another Taiwanese Buddhist charity got permission from Myanmar's military government to fly in water and tarpaulins for shelter. Most Western NGOs were shut out for up to a month by the junta, wary of help from Western powers.
Tzu Chi's low-key charity work is a kind of Taiwanese "soft power," says Mr. Madsen, the sociologist. This is important because the island has little international clout today. The United Nations admitted China and unseated Taiwan in 1971, and in 1979, the U.S.—the key to the island's support internationally—formally established diplomatic relations with the mainland. Taiwan was effectively sidelined.
In Taiwan, Tzu Chi keeps its distance from the island's fractious politics, which helps free it to do what it wants as an aid organization. While other Taiwanese Buddhist aid groups are aligned with political parties (Fo Guang Shan, or Buddha's Light Mountain, for example, has ties to the Kuomingtang party), Tzu Chi is scrupulous about not taking sides, says Mr. Madsen.
That approach is an asset in mainland China, where Tzu Chi has been expanding gradually since 1991. It registered in 2008 as a foreign NGO, and now has projects in 25 provinces, says Mr. Her, the spokesman. China holds the greatest potential for the charity, given ties of culture, language and family. A large number of Taiwanese live and work there, and the local chapter has some 20,000 volunteers, Taiwanese and mainland Chinese.
Tzu Chi "can build a love bridge across the strait" between Taiwan and China, says Mr. Her. But there are still many curbs on what NGOs can do in China, he says. For instance, Tzu Chi must get permission to solicit donations for specific projects, which leaves it largely dependent on funds from Taiwan.
Andre Laliberte, an associate professor at the University of Ottawa who has researched Tzu Chi's China programs, says the faith-based foundation may be overly optimistic about what it can accomplish in China. "They wish they could build hospitals and have all the activities that they have in Taiwan," he says. "But it's not going to happen," given Beijing's wariness of NGOs and organizations with a religious base.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Tzu Chi volunteers, in blue-and-white uniforms, visit the Shanlin resettlement village construction site.
Still, after the 2008 earthquake in Sichuan, Tzu Chi was the first foreign aid group to get relief workers on site. Since then, it has been busy building 13 schools, many of which will be finished this year.
In monetary terms, Tzu Chi is a small fish in the global aid pond. Other organizations, such as Oxfam, CARE and Doctors Without Borders, raise more money, reach more places and employ more expert staff. But the corps of volunteers at Tzu Chi—who work for free—give this group its strength.
Overseas-Taiwanese entrepreneurs and educated professionals form the backbone of the global volunteer network, which works to build schools in Turkey, dig wells in Ethiopia and deliver babies in China. Local chapters—all run by volunteers—can be found world-wide, from La Paz, Bolivia, to Cape Town, South Africa, as well as in the U.S. and Canada. Since 1998, Tzu Chi has mobilized 15,000 doctors and nurses from around the globe to provide free medical services in dozens of countries.
Tzu Chi volunteers pay their own way, and there is a waiting list of Taiwanese wanting to join aid missions overseas, says Mr. O'Neill, the author. "Without these volunteers, the foundation would not be able to accomplish many of its missions," he says.
When Typhoon Morakot hit Taiwan last August, Tzu Chi was among the first to send relief supplies to affected highlands. It has raised $143 million in reconstruction funds from people in 52 countries, including survivors of other disasters, according to Mr. Her.
After Taiwan's government said that landslide-prone villages could not be rebuilt, Tzu Chi went to work at the new, government-sanctioned site. But many victims bemoan the abandonment, and a minority have refused to sign a form relinquishing their right to return to their old homes.
Until the Tzu Chi project opens, most of the displaced are in temporary government and army-run shelters. At a sleepy army base, Liu Wu Shou-mei, 54, hobbles gingerly. Her village was buried in mud, and she and 600 other residents spent three days and nights huddled on a rain-lashed mountainside. Her left leg had to be amputated above the knee. Mrs. Liu regrets the move to the lowlands but sees no way back. "Our hearts are in the mountains but we have to face reality," she says.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Taiwanese aboriginee Liu Wu Shou-mei, 54, lost her leg during Typhoon Morakot.
Some Taiwanese NGOs have criticized Tzu Chi for pressuring survivors into signing the consent forms. Tzu Chi officials say it's voluntary and point out that the government set the guidelines for where private charities can provide permanent shelter in the area.
Self-sacrifice and humility are among the foundation's core beliefs. It's a draw for Tzu Chi's paid staffers—many of whom are midcareer professionals who took a substantial pay cut to join. Not all are Buddhist; staff members in the U.S., for instance, are mostly Christian.
Mr. Her, a former TV news anchor who works full-time as a Tzu Chi spokesman, reports directly to "the Master" in Hualien. He says he doesn't miss his high-flying job. "I earn less, but life has more value," he says.
One of Tzu Chi's core principles is that relief supplies—blankets, food parcels—should be handed over personally, with a bow, by volunteers. The foundation feels this expresses sincerity and gratitude, in line with the movement's teachings. That's how Hsieh Ching-kuei, a former banker who is now head of international relief at Tzu Chi, found himself dancing with North Koreans in 2001.
It had taken a year and a half to persuade officials in Pyongyang to allow Tzu Chi to distribute rice directly to malnourished villagers, rather than hand it to the government. When the day finally came, more than 50 uniformed Tzu Chi volunteers stood in a row, facing the assembled villagers. Before the handover they read a letter from Master Cheng Yen and sang a song. Villagers hugged them and put on a show, says Mr. Hsieh. "When they open up, they're really good dancers," he adds.
But that kind of access isn't guaranteed. When Tzu Chi went back to North Korea in 2008, new officials in charge insisted that food aid be turned over to a government-authorized organization.
Mr. Hsieh joined Tzu Chi in 1995 after 10 years as head of Merrill Lynch's wealth-management division in Taiwan. When catastrophe strikes, Mr. Hsieh jumps on a plane to coordinate the flow of supplies, logistics and manpower. He tries to source goods nearby, to boost the local economy. In some trouble spots, Tzu Chi teams up with relief agencies that have better access. In mid-1990s Rwanda, for example, it worked with Médecins du Monde in post-genocide relief efforts.
Over the years, Tzu Chi has learned a lot from the "big names" in humanitarian relief, says Mr. Hsieh. In general, his approach to aid is the more, the merrier. "If this is a business, you want to be the only producer. But in this industry you welcome everyone."
Sometimes that means making friends with the enemy. After anti-Chinese riots in Jakarta in May 1998, Tzu Chi began distributing rice in poor neighborhoods, where anti-Chinese sentiments ran deepest. The idea was to break a cycle of hatred by putting an ethnic-Chinese face to charity.
Though thousands of Chinese-Indonesians fled the country in the wake of the May Riots, which also hit other cities, Tzu Chi stayed. When the 2002 floods inundated thousands of squatters on the banks of the Angke River, Tzu Chi volunteers organized medical services and a clean-up campaign. The wealthy Widjaja family consulted Master Cheng Yen and began to call in favors from other Indonesian tycoons. They helped raise $7 million to build new homes for the flood victims.
Today, the Cengkareng Great Love village—-a cluster of five-story apartment buildings—is thriving. Indonesian government officials have come to glean lessons for future postdisaster relocations, says Hong Tjhin, an ethnic-Chinese Tzu Chi staff member in Jakarta. He thinks Indonesia's ethnic-Chinese elite has much to learn from the project, too. "We have to give back," he says. "It's only natural and proper."
—Simon Montlake is a writer based in Bangkok.
By SIMON MONTLAKE
Shanlin, Taiwan and Cengkareng, Indonesia
Inside a tent, a poster on the wall tells a story of ruin and resilience: Aid workers in neat blue-and-white uniforms scrape gooey gray mud off an abandoned street in the wake of a destructive typhoon. Outside the tent is a picture of renewal: A new settlement rises in a broad green valley in the town of Shanlin.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Hsieh Ching-kuei, Tzu Chi's international relief director, at a foundation recycling and blanket-distribution center near Taipei. The blankets feature the foundation logo: eight petals of a lotus flower meant to represent Buddhism's eight-fold path, and a sailboat, signifying the ship of compassion that Tzu Chi steers to save all beings that suffer.
The Great Love village, complete with earthquake-resistant schools, churches and houses, will eventually accommodate 1,500 families displaced when Typhoon Morakot pummeled Taiwan last August, triggering floods and landslides that killed 700 people and left tens of thousands homeless.
Many of the new Great Love residents, who began to move in last month, are Taiwanese aborigines who lived in marginal highland communities before the typhoon hit.
The land was set aside by the Taiwanese government for typhoon survivors. But the $94 million project has been funded, designed and executed by Tzu Chi, a Taiwanese Buddhist charity known for its rapid response to the island's all-too frequent natural disasters. When it's not digging out mud-strewn villages, Tzu Chi keeps busy healing the sick, feeding the needy and recycling the island's trash.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
A village building under construction—some residents moved in after Chinese New year.
In Taiwan, Tzu Chi volunteers in their white pants and navy-blue polo shirts are a familiar sight, and the group operates a popular cable-TV channel, also called Great Love. (The charity takes its name from one of its tenets: Every heart is capable of "priceless, great love.")
Largely unknown in the West, Tzu Chi has more regular donors (10 million, mostly Buddhist) and active volunteers (two million) than any other charity based in greater China. In 2008, it raised $314 million. It has built dozens of schools on the island, and six hospitals there bear the "Tzu Chi" name, which is a combination of two characters; the first is an honorific for mother, the second means charity.
But the reach of this 44-year-old charity now extends across much of the developing world, from Ethiopia to El Salvador to Myanmar, and it offers a view of how Asian philanthropy may evolve in an era of rising affluence. Roughly a third of Tzu Chi's regular donors live outside Taiwan; the charity has 399 offices in 47 countries running local projects and raising money for relief and development. This is foreign aid, with Taiwanese characteristics, and it has proven to be powerfully effective in providing disaster relief. What it isn't, however, is a platform for Buddhist proselytizing.
Until now, philanthropy in Asia has usually meant giving to local causes. By branching into cross-border humanitarian relief, Tzu Chi has become the first Asia-based Buddhist organization to enter a field dominated by large Western aid groups.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Ing Jen-zhu, 58, a survivor of Typhoon Morakot, works at the construction site of the Great Love village in Shanlin.
Asia "no longer has to be reliant on help from outside," says Richard Madsen, a sociologist at the University of California, San Diego, who has studied Taiwan's Buddhist nongovernmental organizations, among which Tzu Chi is the biggest and has the most global reach. As Asians become more affluent, he adds, "They can start to be generous and proactive to solve problems around the world."
Tzu Chi's roots lie on Taiwan's hardscrabble east coast. In 1966, Cheng Yen, a Buddhist nun now 72 years old, started an association of nuns and housewives who pooled their savings to help poor families. Dharma Master Cheng Yen, as she is known, has said that she was inspired by three visiting Catholic nuns who asked her what social services Taiwan's Buddhists provided.
The organization began to focus on offering Western medicine to needy Taiwanese and later opened a teaching hospital in the eastern city of Hualien. The hospital now has Asia's largest bone-marrow bank, which is open to anyone.
Tzu Chi has a full-time paid staff of 800 in Taiwan, excluding employees of the TV channel and hospital; they tap into its army of volunteers—many of them retirees—around the world. Its donors are global, too: For disaster relief outside Taiwan, much of the money is raised through local chapters, says Her Rey-sheng, a Tzu Chi spokesman based in Hualien.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Her Rey-sheng, a spokesman for the Tzu Chi foundation.
The Great Love village in Cengkareng, Indonesia, which houses 800 families displaced from Jakarta slums by flooding in 2002, was paid for entirely by donations from Indonesians—including the Widjajas, the ethnic-Chinese family behind agribusiness conglomerate Sinar Mas Group. Tzu Chi has 35,000 regular donors in Indonesia and an annual local budget of more than $10 million. The Jakarta chapter runs an Indonesian affiliate of Great Love TV and sends relief teams of Indonesian physicians to disaster zones such as the earthquake-hit city of Padang on Sumatra Island, where more than 1,000 people died last October.
The Cengkareng village, which opened in 2003, boasts a recycling center, a spacious school and a 31-bed hospital that treats patients—including nonresidents—for free.
On a recent morning, Hanafi, a 76-year-old retired civil servant who goes by one name and lives in a nearby town, sat waiting for a cataract screening on the third floor of the Cengkareng hospital. He had not been able to see out of his cloudy eyes in several months, he said. After a local doctor at a public clinic told him about the free surgery at this hospital, his daughter brought him in.
While he waited his turn, he prayed that the Indonesia Tzu Chi Hospital doctors could restore his sight. Like most Indonesians, Mr. Hanafi is a Muslim. Told that Tzu Chi is a Buddhist group, he seems unruffled. "The important thing is that it's a good organization," he says. "I don't know anything about the religion."
That suits Tzu Chi just fine. It forbids proselytizing by volunteers, though anyone is welcome to join the Buddhist prayer sessions held at its local chapters, its hospitals and at disaster sites. People of other faiths aren't excluded from the charity's lay activities, such as disaster relief. Indeed, Tzu Chi's volunteer medical corps in Indonesia is mostly Muslim.
Such localization holds the key to Tzu Chi's growth, says Mark O'Neill, author of "A Silent Revolution—the Tzu Chi Story." Its offices around the world are headed by Taiwanese expatriates or overseas Chinese. Ethnic-Chinese minorities in countries such as Indonesia and the Philippines often are among the first to volunteer. Western relief groups such as Mercy Corps and Save the Children often coordinate with their respective embassies in disaster areas, but Tzu Chi doesn't. In fact, in many countries where Taiwan has no official ties and thus no embassy, including the U.S., it still maintains a presence.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Yi-zhi, 75, an aboriginal chief, wears a traditional hunter's deer hat.
At times, this isolation can be an advantage. Within days of the massive cyclone that struck the southern coastline of Myanmar in May 2008, Tzu Chi and another Taiwanese Buddhist charity got permission from Myanmar's military government to fly in water and tarpaulins for shelter. Most Western NGOs were shut out for up to a month by the junta, wary of help from Western powers.
Tzu Chi's low-key charity work is a kind of Taiwanese "soft power," says Mr. Madsen, the sociologist. This is important because the island has little international clout today. The United Nations admitted China and unseated Taiwan in 1971, and in 1979, the U.S.—the key to the island's support internationally—formally established diplomatic relations with the mainland. Taiwan was effectively sidelined.
In Taiwan, Tzu Chi keeps its distance from the island's fractious politics, which helps free it to do what it wants as an aid organization. While other Taiwanese Buddhist aid groups are aligned with political parties (Fo Guang Shan, or Buddha's Light Mountain, for example, has ties to the Kuomingtang party), Tzu Chi is scrupulous about not taking sides, says Mr. Madsen.
That approach is an asset in mainland China, where Tzu Chi has been expanding gradually since 1991. It registered in 2008 as a foreign NGO, and now has projects in 25 provinces, says Mr. Her, the spokesman. China holds the greatest potential for the charity, given ties of culture, language and family. A large number of Taiwanese live and work there, and the local chapter has some 20,000 volunteers, Taiwanese and mainland Chinese.
Tzu Chi "can build a love bridge across the strait" between Taiwan and China, says Mr. Her. But there are still many curbs on what NGOs can do in China, he says. For instance, Tzu Chi must get permission to solicit donations for specific projects, which leaves it largely dependent on funds from Taiwan.
Andre Laliberte, an associate professor at the University of Ottawa who has researched Tzu Chi's China programs, says the faith-based foundation may be overly optimistic about what it can accomplish in China. "They wish they could build hospitals and have all the activities that they have in Taiwan," he says. "But it's not going to happen," given Beijing's wariness of NGOs and organizations with a religious base.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Tzu Chi volunteers, in blue-and-white uniforms, visit the Shanlin resettlement village construction site.
Still, after the 2008 earthquake in Sichuan, Tzu Chi was the first foreign aid group to get relief workers on site. Since then, it has been busy building 13 schools, many of which will be finished this year.
In monetary terms, Tzu Chi is a small fish in the global aid pond. Other organizations, such as Oxfam, CARE and Doctors Without Borders, raise more money, reach more places and employ more expert staff. But the corps of volunteers at Tzu Chi—who work for free—give this group its strength.
Overseas-Taiwanese entrepreneurs and educated professionals form the backbone of the global volunteer network, which works to build schools in Turkey, dig wells in Ethiopia and deliver babies in China. Local chapters—all run by volunteers—can be found world-wide, from La Paz, Bolivia, to Cape Town, South Africa, as well as in the U.S. and Canada. Since 1998, Tzu Chi has mobilized 15,000 doctors and nurses from around the globe to provide free medical services in dozens of countries.
Tzu Chi volunteers pay their own way, and there is a waiting list of Taiwanese wanting to join aid missions overseas, says Mr. O'Neill, the author. "Without these volunteers, the foundation would not be able to accomplish many of its missions," he says.
When Typhoon Morakot hit Taiwan last August, Tzu Chi was among the first to send relief supplies to affected highlands. It has raised $143 million in reconstruction funds from people in 52 countries, including survivors of other disasters, according to Mr. Her.
After Taiwan's government said that landslide-prone villages could not be rebuilt, Tzu Chi went to work at the new, government-sanctioned site. But many victims bemoan the abandonment, and a minority have refused to sign a form relinquishing their right to return to their old homes.
Until the Tzu Chi project opens, most of the displaced are in temporary government and army-run shelters. At a sleepy army base, Liu Wu Shou-mei, 54, hobbles gingerly. Her village was buried in mud, and she and 600 other residents spent three days and nights huddled on a rain-lashed mountainside. Her left leg had to be amputated above the knee. Mrs. Liu regrets the move to the lowlands but sees no way back. "Our hearts are in the mountains but we have to face reality," she says.
Chris Stowers for Wall Street Journal
Taiwanese aboriginee Liu Wu Shou-mei, 54, lost her leg during Typhoon Morakot.
Some Taiwanese NGOs have criticized Tzu Chi for pressuring survivors into signing the consent forms. Tzu Chi officials say it's voluntary and point out that the government set the guidelines for where private charities can provide permanent shelter in the area.
Self-sacrifice and humility are among the foundation's core beliefs. It's a draw for Tzu Chi's paid staffers—many of whom are midcareer professionals who took a substantial pay cut to join. Not all are Buddhist; staff members in the U.S., for instance, are mostly Christian.
Mr. Her, a former TV news anchor who works full-time as a Tzu Chi spokesman, reports directly to "the Master" in Hualien. He says he doesn't miss his high-flying job. "I earn less, but life has more value," he says.
One of Tzu Chi's core principles is that relief supplies—blankets, food parcels—should be handed over personally, with a bow, by volunteers. The foundation feels this expresses sincerity and gratitude, in line with the movement's teachings. That's how Hsieh Ching-kuei, a former banker who is now head of international relief at Tzu Chi, found himself dancing with North Koreans in 2001.
It had taken a year and a half to persuade officials in Pyongyang to allow Tzu Chi to distribute rice directly to malnourished villagers, rather than hand it to the government. When the day finally came, more than 50 uniformed Tzu Chi volunteers stood in a row, facing the assembled villagers. Before the handover they read a letter from Master Cheng Yen and sang a song. Villagers hugged them and put on a show, says Mr. Hsieh. "When they open up, they're really good dancers," he adds.
But that kind of access isn't guaranteed. When Tzu Chi went back to North Korea in 2008, new officials in charge insisted that food aid be turned over to a government-authorized organization.
Mr. Hsieh joined Tzu Chi in 1995 after 10 years as head of Merrill Lynch's wealth-management division in Taiwan. When catastrophe strikes, Mr. Hsieh jumps on a plane to coordinate the flow of supplies, logistics and manpower. He tries to source goods nearby, to boost the local economy. In some trouble spots, Tzu Chi teams up with relief agencies that have better access. In mid-1990s Rwanda, for example, it worked with Médecins du Monde in post-genocide relief efforts.
Over the years, Tzu Chi has learned a lot from the "big names" in humanitarian relief, says Mr. Hsieh. In general, his approach to aid is the more, the merrier. "If this is a business, you want to be the only producer. But in this industry you welcome everyone."
Sometimes that means making friends with the enemy. After anti-Chinese riots in Jakarta in May 1998, Tzu Chi began distributing rice in poor neighborhoods, where anti-Chinese sentiments ran deepest. The idea was to break a cycle of hatred by putting an ethnic-Chinese face to charity.
Though thousands of Chinese-Indonesians fled the country in the wake of the May Riots, which also hit other cities, Tzu Chi stayed. When the 2002 floods inundated thousands of squatters on the banks of the Angke River, Tzu Chi volunteers organized medical services and a clean-up campaign. The wealthy Widjaja family consulted Master Cheng Yen and began to call in favors from other Indonesian tycoons. They helped raise $7 million to build new homes for the flood victims.
Today, the Cengkareng Great Love village—-a cluster of five-story apartment buildings—is thriving. Indonesian government officials have come to glean lessons for future postdisaster relocations, says Hong Tjhin, an ethnic-Chinese Tzu Chi staff member in Jakarta. He thinks Indonesia's ethnic-Chinese elite has much to learn from the project, too. "We have to give back," he says. "It's only natural and proper."
—Simon Montlake is a writer based in Bangkok.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
滿滿的感動
昨晚，草莓的過程中，心靈是空虛的，應該怎樣去調解這樣的空虛？我想到，打電話給慈青，原本是要訴說自己的難受，竟然離奇的把悲傷化為力量，依然打給慈青，卻不是訴說負面的，而是一一了解大家的情況，打給了柔，柔今天有考試、打給了貴勝學長，他今天要去健檢、打給了瑜，和瑜聊了心靈成長營、打給秋玉，了解了秋玉的牙齒原來和我牙齒有同樣遭遇、打給了偉仲，處理了心靈成長營的會務、打給了有發，跟他說考試加油、最後，也化解了和雯薇的摩擦。
發生了這一切一切，心中充滿了滿滿的感動，原來自己花那么短短的時間，卻可以換來大家的近況，感覺和大家是那么的貼近，我想這就是貼心的感覺。
突然想到，自己每天打電話回家，雖然好像沒什么內容，卻發現自己對家里的狀況很掌握，原來這叫做用心，以前真的好不用心哦！加油吧！
發生了這一切一切，心中充滿了滿滿的感動，原來自己花那么短短的時間，卻可以換來大家的近況，感覺和大家是那么的貼近，我想這就是貼心的感覺。
突然想到，自己每天打電話回家，雖然好像沒什么內容，卻發現自己對家里的狀況很掌握，原來這叫做用心，以前真的好不用心哦！加油吧！
決不輕言放棄！
昨天，突然感觸很深，又蒙起了放棄的念頭。。。
這些日子下來，發現自己其實很草莓又很鐵珠。草莓呢，每當發生小小的不愉快，就會想要放棄，好像昨晚那樣，和小朋友因為事項上有了小小的摩擦，覺得自己不只傷害了小朋友，也傷害了自己，就想要放棄了，不要再陪伴慈青了。負面的想法也都通通跑出來了，就會想，如果我沒有陪伴，就不會傷害到她了，如果我沒有陪伴，大家可能會很好呢，等等的。
這種草莓的想法，其實只會出現一下下，不會在我的腦袋里待太久，因為我會想起自己當初的一念心，想到自己是為什么選擇陪伴，就不會想要放棄了，會跟自己說很多很多的話，讓自己受挫的心情可以被安撫。昨晚也是那樣，草莓出現了一下下，選擇去化解，想到 上人跟我們說，我們這輩子要來結好緣，不是來結惡緣的，所以決定不要再沉迷在自己的情緒里了，快快去化解該化解的，果然，有心不怕難，問題解決了，心情輕松了。心情不只輕松，還更堅定，自己要陪伴，就算再不適合都好，一定要加油努力！
覺得這樣一次又一次草莓鐵珠的過程，讓自己更堅定、讓自己更有信心，這或許就是自己在進步的情況吧。相信以後草莓的時間會更短，因為我不會輕言放棄的！
這些日子下來，發現自己其實很草莓又很鐵珠。草莓呢，每當發生小小的不愉快，就會想要放棄，好像昨晚那樣，和小朋友因為事項上有了小小的摩擦，覺得自己不只傷害了小朋友，也傷害了自己，就想要放棄了，不要再陪伴慈青了。負面的想法也都通通跑出來了，就會想，如果我沒有陪伴，就不會傷害到她了，如果我沒有陪伴，大家可能會很好呢，等等的。
這種草莓的想法，其實只會出現一下下，不會在我的腦袋里待太久，因為我會想起自己當初的一念心，想到自己是為什么選擇陪伴，就不會想要放棄了，會跟自己說很多很多的話，讓自己受挫的心情可以被安撫。昨晚也是那樣，草莓出現了一下下，選擇去化解，想到 上人跟我們說，我們這輩子要來結好緣，不是來結惡緣的，所以決定不要再沉迷在自己的情緒里了，快快去化解該化解的，果然，有心不怕難，問題解決了，心情輕松了。心情不只輕松，還更堅定，自己要陪伴，就算再不適合都好，一定要加油努力！
覺得這樣一次又一次草莓鐵珠的過程，讓自己更堅定、讓自己更有信心，這或許就是自己在進步的情況吧。相信以後草莓的時間會更短，因為我不會輕言放棄的！
Sunday, March 14, 2010
給小朋友的一封信
親愛的，
感恩你愿意將自己的心情分享出來，這個也是學長姊們最想知道的。不會離開慈青，這是當然的。可是我想，其實對自己的期許可以更高一點，而不只是不會離開，因為我們都相信你是有能力和心力的，現在遇到一些挫折，應該要怎樣解決和調整呢？如果現在不調整，將來不管到哪里，還是會面對同樣的問題的。我相信學長姊們都很愿意來協助你這一塊。
回想起當初，你那么單純的答應了碧慧可以承擔聯絡人，這樣的單純，很令我們贊嘆，現在的你，心態有沒有改變，我們也無法幫你下定論，因為只有你會知道，當初和現在的心態是否還一樣。不過我所知道的事，現在的有發有些迷茫，原因我不太確定，猜想或許是壓力，課業、志業、家業、小愛等太多事情要去兼顧，不知道自己的時間要怎樣使用。有發經歷過的這一切，我本身都經歷過，曾經深深的知道，自己肯定不會離開慈青，只是承擔得很沒有力氣（心靈），所以想要休息一下。可是這樣一休息，就懈怠了，竟然花了我要到3個月的時間，才真正又再有力氣，這3個月的日子，并不好受，心靈是空虛和不安的。
想說有發，你已經很棒了，你了解自己的狀況、了解自己的問題，既然看到自己的問題（得空時喜歡做輕松的事），就從那里開始著手吧，只要你不覺得學長姊很煩，我們隨時都愿意協助。再來說，其實我何嘗不是這樣，以前，我自己一個人的時候，最喜歡做的事情就是睡覺，因為睡覺什么都不用做、什么都不用想，如果睡飽了，就會看看戲等等的，這都是我在宿舍時候的生活呢，我想應該沒有人知道。常常，周末沒有活動的時候/或是懶惰參與活動的時候，我都在房間里過著自由、輕松、悠閑、享受的生活。現在回想起來，原來那只是一時之快，享受完了，就沒了，還是要面對現實的。而且，這樣的輕松自由，會讓自己的心散漫下來呢。有這樣的念頭，不是你的錯，因為這是大環境的一個潮流。而為什么我們會在慈青里，我們就是要學習克己，克制自己的欲望（想要休息或輕松的欲望），我們懂很多道理，實踐確是不簡單的一件事，但是只要有恒心，記得自己是來修掉自己的習氣的，就一定可以做到的。
可以跟你分享自己是如何善惡拔河，然后善的一方終於贏了。以前，懶惰/想享受/輕松的時候，因為知道，這是不好的（投入慈青後的想法），所以會自己跟自己說，林惠佳還不快點去找東西做，那時就會心不甘、情不愿，去做一些自己喜歡做的事，讓自己有滿足感的事，那時還在改變習氣的開始，所以就是做些很簡單的事，打掃房間、煮飯給左鄰右舍吃等，可以讓我忙上半天，很有滿足感。再跟你分享，以前我是懶惰到連沖涼都想逃避的那種，覺得沖涼是一件很麻煩的事，我想你的心態應該不會像我這樣糟糕吧，連我那么糟糕的心態都可以改好，你還擔心什么呢？過後慢慢地，就盡量參與活動，讓自己的每分每秒都在做，不讓自己有懈怠的機會，因為擔心自己又再拾回散漫的心。
一直到現在，其實還是會想要休息，還是會想如果能輕松點該多好，可是就會想到師公對我們說的，一、不求身體健康，只求智慧敏睿；二、不求事事如意，但求毅力和勇氣；三、不求減輕負擔，但求增加力量，就會突然開竅，對ho，我應該期許自己更精進，而不是更懈怠，干嘛要求輕松點呢，就會自己給自己力量。現在，想要偷懶的時候，就會想起慈青，因為自己要做慈青的榜樣，所以不可以懈怠，不然“誤人子弟”就糟了。
哈哈，講了那么多，還是沒有講完，現在到聯絡人的部分了，我沒有承擔過聯絡人，沒有什么屬于聯絡人的心得，但是我知道一點，聯絡人一定要自我要求。我相信有發是可以被要求的，所以才會這樣說。有發今天知道自己沒有做得很好，沒關系，現在開始努力，還不遲，我想說，有發可以嘗試規劃一下自己的時間，一個星期要分多少時間給課業、家業和志業，規劃了，就要嘗試去執行。課業方面，要要求自己提高效率、志業方面、要要求自己提高心力。嘗試了，一定可以做到的，最難的敵人其實是自己的那一念心，愿意或不愿意開始，就要看有發了。
有發的分享里，有很多的抱歉和paiseh，其實有發不用跟我們說抱歉，因為受影響最深的是自己，師公跟我們說，漏氣求進步，不怕懺悔承認自己的過失，懺悔了就要付出100%的努力，不可以再重蹈覆轍，在這里祝福有發的努力成功，學長姊也隨時在這里等候有發，有什么需要協助的，隨時可以開口。
最後，見到學長姊不要有壓力，或許你會覺得自己做得不好或是什么，所以覺得面對學長姊很慚愧等等，千萬不要，因為我們大家都一樣平等，沒有說慈青需要為學長姊做事情或是什么，既然沒有這樣的關系，就不需要慚愧，若真的慚愧，就是對自己心中的那一個本性慚愧，對自己的慧命感到慚愧。今天你愿意分享，就代表你愿意來改變，我們可以、也愿意協助。慧命是自己的，要靠自己來保護才能持續增長。
祝福有發，話說得蠻重的，卻是我心里想的，希望大家真的聽得懂師公的話，最近的志早，師公越來越語重心長，講得越來越佛法化，無非是希望我們趕快聽明白，來不及了。
感恩你愿意將自己的心情分享出來，這個也是學長姊們最想知道的。不會離開慈青，這是當然的。可是我想，其實對自己的期許可以更高一點，而不只是不會離開，因為我們都相信你是有能力和心力的，現在遇到一些挫折，應該要怎樣解決和調整呢？如果現在不調整，將來不管到哪里，還是會面對同樣的問題的。我相信學長姊們都很愿意來協助你這一塊。
回想起當初，你那么單純的答應了碧慧可以承擔聯絡人，這樣的單純，很令我們贊嘆，現在的你，心態有沒有改變，我們也無法幫你下定論，因為只有你會知道，當初和現在的心態是否還一樣。不過我所知道的事，現在的有發有些迷茫，原因我不太確定，猜想或許是壓力，課業、志業、家業、小愛等太多事情要去兼顧，不知道自己的時間要怎樣使用。有發經歷過的這一切，我本身都經歷過，曾經深深的知道，自己肯定不會離開慈青，只是承擔得很沒有力氣（心靈），所以想要休息一下。可是這樣一休息，就懈怠了，竟然花了我要到3個月的時間，才真正又再有力氣，這3個月的日子，并不好受，心靈是空虛和不安的。
想說有發，你已經很棒了，你了解自己的狀況、了解自己的問題，既然看到自己的問題（得空時喜歡做輕松的事），就從那里開始著手吧，只要你不覺得學長姊很煩，我們隨時都愿意協助。再來說，其實我何嘗不是這樣，以前，我自己一個人的時候，最喜歡做的事情就是睡覺，因為睡覺什么都不用做、什么都不用想，如果睡飽了，就會看看戲等等的，這都是我在宿舍時候的生活呢，我想應該沒有人知道。常常，周末沒有活動的時候/或是懶惰參與活動的時候，我都在房間里過著自由、輕松、悠閑、享受的生活。現在回想起來，原來那只是一時之快，享受完了，就沒了，還是要面對現實的。而且，這樣的輕松自由，會讓自己的心散漫下來呢。有這樣的念頭，不是你的錯，因為這是大環境的一個潮流。而為什么我們會在慈青里，我們就是要學習克己，克制自己的欲望（想要休息或輕松的欲望），我們懂很多道理，實踐確是不簡單的一件事，但是只要有恒心，記得自己是來修掉自己的習氣的，就一定可以做到的。
可以跟你分享自己是如何善惡拔河，然后善的一方終於贏了。以前，懶惰/想享受/輕松的時候，因為知道，這是不好的（投入慈青後的想法），所以會自己跟自己說，林惠佳還不快點去找東西做，那時就會心不甘、情不愿，去做一些自己喜歡做的事，讓自己有滿足感的事，那時還在改變習氣的開始，所以就是做些很簡單的事，打掃房間、煮飯給左鄰右舍吃等，可以讓我忙上半天，很有滿足感。再跟你分享，以前我是懶惰到連沖涼都想逃避的那種，覺得沖涼是一件很麻煩的事，我想你的心態應該不會像我這樣糟糕吧，連我那么糟糕的心態都可以改好，你還擔心什么呢？過後慢慢地，就盡量參與活動，讓自己的每分每秒都在做，不讓自己有懈怠的機會，因為擔心自己又再拾回散漫的心。
一直到現在，其實還是會想要休息，還是會想如果能輕松點該多好，可是就會想到師公對我們說的，一、不求身體健康，只求智慧敏睿；二、不求事事如意，但求毅力和勇氣；三、不求減輕負擔，但求增加力量，就會突然開竅，對ho，我應該期許自己更精進，而不是更懈怠，干嘛要求輕松點呢，就會自己給自己力量。現在，想要偷懶的時候，就會想起慈青，因為自己要做慈青的榜樣，所以不可以懈怠，不然“誤人子弟”就糟了。
哈哈，講了那么多，還是沒有講完，現在到聯絡人的部分了，我沒有承擔過聯絡人，沒有什么屬于聯絡人的心得，但是我知道一點，聯絡人一定要自我要求。我相信有發是可以被要求的，所以才會這樣說。有發今天知道自己沒有做得很好，沒關系，現在開始努力，還不遲，我想說，有發可以嘗試規劃一下自己的時間，一個星期要分多少時間給課業、家業和志業，規劃了，就要嘗試去執行。課業方面，要要求自己提高效率、志業方面、要要求自己提高心力。嘗試了，一定可以做到的，最難的敵人其實是自己的那一念心，愿意或不愿意開始，就要看有發了。
有發的分享里，有很多的抱歉和paiseh，其實有發不用跟我們說抱歉，因為受影響最深的是自己，師公跟我們說，漏氣求進步，不怕懺悔承認自己的過失，懺悔了就要付出100%的努力，不可以再重蹈覆轍，在這里祝福有發的努力成功，學長姊也隨時在這里等候有發，有什么需要協助的，隨時可以開口。
最後，見到學長姊不要有壓力，或許你會覺得自己做得不好或是什么，所以覺得面對學長姊很慚愧等等，千萬不要，因為我們大家都一樣平等，沒有說慈青需要為學長姊做事情或是什么，既然沒有這樣的關系，就不需要慚愧，若真的慚愧，就是對自己心中的那一個本性慚愧，對自己的慧命感到慚愧。今天你愿意分享，就代表你愿意來改變，我們可以、也愿意協助。慧命是自己的，要靠自己來保護才能持續增長。
祝福有發，話說得蠻重的，卻是我心里想的，希望大家真的聽得懂師公的話，最近的志早，師公越來越語重心長，講得越來越佛法化，無非是希望我們趕快聽明白，來不及了。
小朋友的來信
亲爱的学长姐们，
首先，我要先学长姐们说声抱歉！当初我答应碧慧学姐来接下新任的联络人时，我会把慈青办得更好！不过，现在的马大慈青都让我办的更糟，干部的联系都没有，就好像一艘船没有油而停止在岸上。。
先说环保展，还没有踏入这个学期时，我都会主动地联络umcare的人，并希望我们能办的成功。不过，困难一波未完有一波起。加上我们好像需要把我们以前所策划的内容重新调整。。其实，也许真的想学姐说的，其实，我们邀请dr.zeeda来当我们的penasihat。。把信及KKD交上去了，可能就一切顺利的。不过，可能我因为课业的忙碌所以就一直拖。。（其实，应该要说自己并没有这么积极）。。还有，我还没有真真的与各组的组长一起开会。真是失败！抱歉！
说真的，一开始我真的很想用不同的方式，比如：想开慈青facebook来宣传马大慈青的存在。一直想把慈青的名字带入很多人，让更多的人知道。。不过，原来是不简单的。。我连召集大家一起开个行政会议来商讨都很难。。不知道要怎样办！！所以，很多事都不能与干部商量。。
至于干部的凝聚力，到现在都没有真真的与干部聚集在一起来联谊。。有时我很想约大家，不过又怕大家都在忙。。有时真的找不到一个时间是大家得空的。所以，自己就有种种借口，算了啦，下次有机会的。。。下次下次就到现在了。。。
与大家分享，我觉得这个sem真的忙于在课业上。。好像每个星期都有东西做。尤其是新年过后。不是assignment,就考试。有几个星期assignment and test连续来。。。可能我真的拿太多jamkredit了。有点后悔了。。还有，我的时间管理一直都是很有问题。。得空的时候，我就做一些让我很轻松的东西。过后，assignment就堆在last minute…当我一忙，我就忽略了慈青会务，身为联络人的本分。。。抱歉！！抱歉！！不过，我真的很想顾好我的学业，因为我答应自己及我身边最亲爱的人，一定要把学业顾好，并期许自己这个sem要比上个sem考得更好。。
也许学长姐认为我的心态已变了。。我自己也不知道。。或许我本身的心态本来就是这样，可能学长姐们太高估我了。。真的抱歉！！其实，我自己都很模糊。。。
可能最近我真的忽略了慈青，活动也少参加了，学长姐都少看到我在慈青的活动上出现。。paiseh…不过，我可以肯定的是我不会放弃慈青。。因为这是我的目标，在这里我学习到了很多，让我成长了。。所以，我不会放弃的。。
哈哈！！好久没有分享了。。一分享，我就分享我的心情了。。我今天才知道学长姐们都开始担心我了。。抱歉，因为我的不用心，让学长姐担心了。。也要感恩学长姐很忙很忙时都愿意来关心我。感恩！！
首先，我要先学长姐们说声抱歉！当初我答应碧慧学姐来接下新任的联络人时，我会把慈青办得更好！不过，现在的马大慈青都让我办的更糟，干部的联系都没有，就好像一艘船没有油而停止在岸上。。
先说环保展，还没有踏入这个学期时，我都会主动地联络umcare的人，并希望我们能办的成功。不过，困难一波未完有一波起。加上我们好像需要把我们以前所策划的内容重新调整。。其实，也许真的想学姐说的，其实，我们邀请dr.zeeda来当我们的penasihat。。把信及KKD交上去了，可能就一切顺利的。不过，可能我因为课业的忙碌所以就一直拖。。（其实，应该要说自己并没有这么积极）。。还有，我还没有真真的与各组的组长一起开会。真是失败！抱歉！
说真的，一开始我真的很想用不同的方式，比如：想开慈青facebook来宣传马大慈青的存在。一直想把慈青的名字带入很多人，让更多的人知道。。不过，原来是不简单的。。我连召集大家一起开个行政会议来商讨都很难。。不知道要怎样办！！所以，很多事都不能与干部商量。。
至于干部的凝聚力，到现在都没有真真的与干部聚集在一起来联谊。。有时我很想约大家，不过又怕大家都在忙。。有时真的找不到一个时间是大家得空的。所以，自己就有种种借口，算了啦，下次有机会的。。。下次下次就到现在了。。。
与大家分享，我觉得这个sem真的忙于在课业上。。好像每个星期都有东西做。尤其是新年过后。不是assignment,就考试。有几个星期assignment and test连续来。。。可能我真的拿太多jamkredit了。有点后悔了。。还有，我的时间管理一直都是很有问题。。得空的时候，我就做一些让我很轻松的东西。过后，assignment就堆在last minute…当我一忙，我就忽略了慈青会务，身为联络人的本分。。。抱歉！！抱歉！！不过，我真的很想顾好我的学业，因为我答应自己及我身边最亲爱的人，一定要把学业顾好，并期许自己这个sem要比上个sem考得更好。。
也许学长姐认为我的心态已变了。。我自己也不知道。。或许我本身的心态本来就是这样，可能学长姐们太高估我了。。真的抱歉！！其实，我自己都很模糊。。。
可能最近我真的忽略了慈青，活动也少参加了，学长姐都少看到我在慈青的活动上出现。。paiseh…不过，我可以肯定的是我不会放弃慈青。。因为这是我的目标，在这里我学习到了很多，让我成长了。。所以，我不会放弃的。。
哈哈！！好久没有分享了。。一分享，我就分享我的心情了。。我今天才知道学长姐们都开始担心我了。。抱歉，因为我的不用心，让学长姐担心了。。也要感恩学长姐很忙很忙时都愿意来关心我。感恩！！
Saturday, March 13, 2010
和3T共處的日子
相識3T，應該是5個月前的事了。剛與她相識的時候，心情是奇妙的，不知是傷心、難過、沮喪、還是無助。那時的心情，應該是屬于被傷害的位子，怨自己為什么會認識她，覺得她是來傷害我的。那時的心情低落了好一段日子，自己又是什么都不說的，心情就更加難受。表面上，卻要裝作若無其事，因為沒有幾個人知道我和3T的相遇。
開始知道3T的存在時，應該說是害怕的，因為不知道她的來歷。雖然對她不是很了解，卻也膽怯去真正了解她，所以一直選擇逃避。終於，決定去認識她一下。帶她去找了1位楊先生，楊先生說，放心她是善良的，不要怕她，我也單純的接受了，她是善良的。。。
但是，卻在我很單純的相信的時候，有人說：你真的相信楊先生？真的不要再去找其他人來確認？我的信心又開始動搖了，最後，被催三催四的情況下，我再找了伍小姊的幫忙，可是呢，伍小姊不認識她，只好幫我介紹了Ju小姊，那天帶她去見Ju小姊時，是自己一個人，心情是格外的安定，也許因為一路上一直在看書吧。一段小插曲後，終於見到了Ju小姊，Ju小姊用了非常短的時間，說了兩句話，她是好是壞，我不知道，要先去找U先生，再來找我，那好，只好等下次了。
又有人說，不要等了，帶你去P小姊那裡，猶豫了很久，為什么要那么急呢，至少到目前為止，我覺得3T是好人，雖然曾經有懷疑過她。最後還是妥協了，去了P小姊那裡，一切都水落石出了，3T是好人，只要對她好，她就不會傷害我，終於也都安心了。。。
回想起和3T共處的時光，實在很難熬。又不敢去確認她好不好，自己又要猜，然後又會自我安慰她是好的。那個時候，沒有專心過，成天想著她，工作的時候也好、睡覺的時候也好，弄得自己好像行尸走肉那樣，提不起精神。想起來覺得很傻，果真是一切唯心造，她的出現，對我造成最大的傷害，是心靈的受傷，因為心靈一旦受傷了，人也提不起精神來了。
前兩天，和瑜分享了3T的故事，想給她少少的力量，因為最近太多事發生在瑜的身上了，一次又一次，想讓她聽聽我的故事，讓她知道我和她的感情，是法親，什么都可以聊，不用顧忌。這些發生在瑜身上的事，并沒有把瑜打倒，反而讓瑜越挫越勇。看到瑜，一次又一次傷心難過，一次又一次從傷心難過裡找到平衡點，再站起來，總是給了我很大的力量。
我和3T，現在和平共處著，瑜祝福我，感恩。也祝福瑜，慧命增長！
開始知道3T的存在時，應該說是害怕的，因為不知道她的來歷。雖然對她不是很了解，卻也膽怯去真正了解她，所以一直選擇逃避。終於，決定去認識她一下。帶她去找了1位楊先生，楊先生說，放心她是善良的，不要怕她，我也單純的接受了，她是善良的。。。
但是，卻在我很單純的相信的時候，有人說：你真的相信楊先生？真的不要再去找其他人來確認？我的信心又開始動搖了，最後，被催三催四的情況下，我再找了伍小姊的幫忙，可是呢，伍小姊不認識她，只好幫我介紹了Ju小姊，那天帶她去見Ju小姊時，是自己一個人，心情是格外的安定，也許因為一路上一直在看書吧。一段小插曲後，終於見到了Ju小姊，Ju小姊用了非常短的時間，說了兩句話，她是好是壞，我不知道，要先去找U先生，再來找我，那好，只好等下次了。
又有人說，不要等了，帶你去P小姊那裡，猶豫了很久，為什么要那么急呢，至少到目前為止，我覺得3T是好人，雖然曾經有懷疑過她。最後還是妥協了，去了P小姊那裡，一切都水落石出了，3T是好人，只要對她好，她就不會傷害我，終於也都安心了。。。
回想起和3T共處的時光，實在很難熬。又不敢去確認她好不好，自己又要猜，然後又會自我安慰她是好的。那個時候，沒有專心過，成天想著她，工作的時候也好、睡覺的時候也好，弄得自己好像行尸走肉那樣，提不起精神。想起來覺得很傻，果真是一切唯心造，她的出現，對我造成最大的傷害，是心靈的受傷，因為心靈一旦受傷了，人也提不起精神來了。
前兩天，和瑜分享了3T的故事，想給她少少的力量，因為最近太多事發生在瑜的身上了，一次又一次，想讓她聽聽我的故事，讓她知道我和她的感情，是法親，什么都可以聊，不用顧忌。這些發生在瑜身上的事，并沒有把瑜打倒，反而讓瑜越挫越勇。看到瑜，一次又一次傷心難過，一次又一次從傷心難過裡找到平衡點，再站起來，總是給了我很大的力量。
我和3T，現在和平共處著，瑜祝福我，感恩。也祝福瑜，慧命增長！
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
心疼&來不及
昨天，到馬大慈青之家安單，看到的一切，讓自己很心疼，在簽到簿裡留了一篇很長很長的言。很遲了，大家都還沒睡，柔還在為功課忙碌，三更半夜了，還一個人駕著摩哆在路上兜，很危險。柔的功課還沒有做完，是不是因為和有發出門到很遲導致的呢？不知道。柔，要好好安排自己的時間，不要因為小愛影響自己的生活，曾經記得你說，你不會被這段小愛影響的，要真的做到哦！
因為柔還沒回來，有發還沒睡，我也還沒睡，美云也還沒睡，瑜也一樣還沒睡。已經是清晨一點多了，疼惜大家的身體，更疼惜大家的慧命，青年就是這樣，雖然知道什么對自己最好，卻因為習氣及無名，都不愿意改，這樣很可惜呢！自己曾經也是顛倒生活，現在，知道生命的寶貴，也知道沒有了生命，什么都不能做。不用說到那么遠，說健康吧，沒有了健康，也一樣什么都做不了，大家真的要好好珍惜自己。有健康的身體，才能真正發揮自己的良能，去做很多很多的事、去幫師公 上人承擔很多很多。
原本，很想放棄I M POSSIBLE任務了。昨天來到慈家，沒有家的感覺，各自忙各自的，還有大家的臉都是黑黑的，對這個家，真的很失望，很想什么都不理了。冷靜了一下，簽到簿寫完了，力量回來了，現在不是放棄的時候，深深的感受到師公的來不及，我要更快，不然就會有更多青年過著顛倒的生活了。
惠佳加油，你不能懈怠了，沒有時間等你從懈怠中恢復了！！
因為柔還沒回來，有發還沒睡，我也還沒睡，美云也還沒睡，瑜也一樣還沒睡。已經是清晨一點多了，疼惜大家的身體，更疼惜大家的慧命，青年就是這樣，雖然知道什么對自己最好，卻因為習氣及無名，都不愿意改，這樣很可惜呢！自己曾經也是顛倒生活，現在，知道生命的寶貴，也知道沒有了生命，什么都不能做。不用說到那么遠，說健康吧，沒有了健康，也一樣什么都做不了，大家真的要好好珍惜自己。有健康的身體，才能真正發揮自己的良能，去做很多很多的事、去幫師公 上人承擔很多很多。
原本，很想放棄I M POSSIBLE任務了。昨天來到慈家，沒有家的感覺，各自忙各自的，還有大家的臉都是黑黑的，對這個家，真的很失望，很想什么都不理了。冷靜了一下，簽到簿寫完了，力量回來了，現在不是放棄的時候，深深的感受到師公的來不及，我要更快，不然就會有更多青年過著顛倒的生活了。
惠佳加油，你不能懈怠了，沒有時間等你從懈怠中恢復了！！
身累。心不累
2010年第11屆的慈青幹訓營，在3月7號星期日圓滿落幕了。這次的營隊，對我來說是一個新的嘗試和體驗。這次，我不再是課務，而是一個在背后默默付出的衣住組。從來都沒想過自己會承擔衣住組，感恩coursemate，因為她在衣住組，所以我為了陪她，也很用心地在衣住組付出。從來，就不喜歡這類型的工作，不能跑來跑去，要專心做一樣東西（純屬心理障礙，因為其實從來都沒做過，哈哈！）這次的認真，讓我體會到“用心就是專業”，覺得自己做得很好，哈哈，應該算自戀。
這次的營隊很特別，因為travel了很多趟，也真夠不應該的，雖然不應該，還是做了，沒辦法了。首先，星期五晚上，培訓聯誼會過後，開車到馬六甲，大概1點多睡，4點多就起來了，接下來，衣住組的一天，有點忙碌，又有時間上課，或許很珍惜那一點點的上課時間，所以沒有打瞌睡，是因為身累，心不累嗎？一直到下午4點半，又再開車返回吉隆坡，為了開和互會議，結果到的時候已經遲到了45分鐘，暈倒！一直到9點半的那個時候，又再出發去機場接劉師伯。其實想載師伯的，但是又沒信心，還是不載好了，巧梅載吧。就這樣，抵達馬六甲，已經1點多了，沖涼睡覺已經是2點多了，還是一樣，4點多就醒了，想想應該會很累，可是醒來後卻很精神地備課，然後一直到營隊結束，上課都沒有打瞌睡，這又是因為身累，心不累吧！
晚上回到吉隆坡，大概6點多，路程上，睡了5分鐘，哈。回到了吉隆坡就去打油，拿勸募本，約見會員，在大碗公，一度很累，眼皮掉下來了，應該真的累了。離開大碗公，要去找一位第一次見面的會員了，突然間不累了，很期待。找了很久，終於在復雜的路上，找到了349A，哈哈，太好了，是一家四口的家庭，聊了15分鐘左右，因為朋友在外面等，回到車上，沒有睡意lu，覺得很有力量，人間很有希望，哈哈，我想又是身累，心不累吧。
隔天，收到coursemate的msn，很感動，又再給了我大大的力量和希望，終於，coursemate因為這次的幹訓營，改變了很多。coursemate主動來了解慈濟了。yeah～ 回想起幾年前的她，真的很大不同了，從一個大家都不敢接近的coursemate到現在可以和大家一起努力的她，看到了真的很欣慰，原來 上人說的，凈化人心，是可以做到的，要以誠以愛。。。
雖然這幾天身很累，一切都值得的，因為心靈很富足。
這次的營隊很特別，因為travel了很多趟，也真夠不應該的，雖然不應該，還是做了，沒辦法了。首先，星期五晚上，培訓聯誼會過後，開車到馬六甲，大概1點多睡，4點多就起來了，接下來，衣住組的一天，有點忙碌，又有時間上課，或許很珍惜那一點點的上課時間，所以沒有打瞌睡，是因為身累，心不累嗎？一直到下午4點半，又再開車返回吉隆坡，為了開和互會議，結果到的時候已經遲到了45分鐘，暈倒！一直到9點半的那個時候，又再出發去機場接劉師伯。其實想載師伯的，但是又沒信心，還是不載好了，巧梅載吧。就這樣，抵達馬六甲，已經1點多了，沖涼睡覺已經是2點多了，還是一樣，4點多就醒了，想想應該會很累，可是醒來後卻很精神地備課，然後一直到營隊結束，上課都沒有打瞌睡，這又是因為身累，心不累吧！
晚上回到吉隆坡，大概6點多，路程上，睡了5分鐘，哈。回到了吉隆坡就去打油，拿勸募本，約見會員，在大碗公，一度很累，眼皮掉下來了，應該真的累了。離開大碗公，要去找一位第一次見面的會員了，突然間不累了，很期待。找了很久，終於在復雜的路上，找到了349A，哈哈，太好了，是一家四口的家庭，聊了15分鐘左右，因為朋友在外面等，回到車上，沒有睡意lu，覺得很有力量，人間很有希望，哈哈，我想又是身累，心不累吧。
隔天，收到coursemate的msn，很感動，又再給了我大大的力量和希望，終於，coursemate因為這次的幹訓營，改變了很多。coursemate主動來了解慈濟了。yeah～ 回想起幾年前的她，真的很大不同了，從一個大家都不敢接近的coursemate到現在可以和大家一起努力的她，看到了真的很欣慰，原來 上人說的，凈化人心，是可以做到的，要以誠以愛。。。
雖然這幾天身很累，一切都值得的，因為心靈很富足。
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
我不是我。。。
2009年2月28日，原本要到月清師姑家拜年的。但是，到了師姑家，發現師姑家門深鎖，打電話給師姑又沒有接，我們就在想，師姑是不是以為我們和榕偵一樣不來了？所以，我們就離開了。在路上，接到師姑的電話，問我們在哪裡了，可是我們已經離開了呢，師姑問我們要不要回去，巧梅不要，我沒意見。當時巧梅說，師姑一定覺得很不好意思。其實，我才真的很不好意思，總覺得是自己誤會師姑忘記、是自己沒有耐性等師姑，所以令到師姑很不好意思，卻不敢說出口。。。
我想這就是我的性格吧，我不是我，從小，就不太敢表達自己的想法，因為怕被批評，怕別人看穿自己。。。
我想這就是我的性格吧，我不是我，從小，就不太敢表達自己的想法，因為怕被批評，怕別人看穿自己。。。
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
樸實藝術
這是我第一次的樸實藝術作品，當聽到要用畫來表達自己的想法時，有一點不知所措，哈哈，本來就不會畫畫，還要畫出自己的想法，還真有夠難呢。想了一下，竟然想到了我的家庭，索性就畫了這一副畫。
月亮，代表夜晚，一家七口都在屋裡觀賞大愛臺（家裡平時很少觀賞，只有小弟。。。），交通工具都在門外（代表夜晚大家都在家，平時大家都各自外出，很難有時間這樣相聚），一盤菜+公筷母匙（希望家人可以吃素以及使用公筷母匙），這就是我理想的家。
Monday, March 1, 2010
我又忘記了
今天，我又忘記了，我想我真的很不用心，每次都不記得別人口中說的話。“你很不用心哦！”那一刻，是難過的，也是怨恨的（可是我知道怨恨是不對的，所以很快就放棄了這個感受），或許自己從來不會這樣對別人說。想想，別人忘記自己說的話，對我來說，沒有什么大不了，或許是這樣，我才覺得不滿，不滿為什么這點小事都要發脾氣，不滿為什么說話的語氣那么不好。。。無明真的太可怕了。
轉個心念，要感恩，感恩她在乎，所以才會用那樣的語氣；感恩她，我才會改變自己的不用心；感恩她，我才能警惕自己不犯同樣錯誤。
下次不能再忘記。。。
轉個心念，要感恩，感恩她在乎，所以才會用那樣的語氣；感恩她，我才會改變自己的不用心；感恩她，我才能警惕自己不犯同樣錯誤。
下次不能再忘記。。。
我的夢想不會實現
這樣的一個標題，應該會讓人有很多遐想的空間，其實不過很簡單，我以前的夢想不會實現了，可是到今天我都還沒有放下。。。
今天一早就到Dr Chan的家去拜年，這個拜年牽動了我的心。一大早就和以前的labmate&supervisor一起，大家在談的當然也免不了project和research咯，才發現，原來自己一直都還沒有放下成為lecturer的夢想。自己的心，已經不是第一次被牽動了。已經好幾次了，每次身邊一有人提起念master、做research等等的字眼，自己就會不自覺地想起自己所放棄的一切，就會開始問自己，到底這個選擇是不是對的？！
我絕對知道這是對的，但是自己的心，為什么就是那么草莓？無法放下這一個夢想呢？每每只想起自己失去的，卻不愿記得自己所得到的。。。
尤其今天，大家都在談著project，談著lab的一切，勾起了種種的回憶，曾幾何時，我也是當中的一員，可是今天的我，卻是那么遙遠的。
我承認，我舍不得放下，一次又一次地邀約Dr Chan、labmate們，不為什么，就只是想找回自己心中所缺少的那一角，research。在他們身上，可以聽到自己的夢想，雖然知道，它不再能實現，卻想借此找到一絲絲的安慰。每次的見面，都讓自己有一股沖動，想要回到追求夢想的那個時候。當然，今天 ，真的好想好想，卻又覺得干嘛自己的心那么的草莓。。。兩個惠佳在吵架。。。難受得落淚。。。
自己想做的，和自己應該做的，應該做哪一樣？如果自己的心是鐵珠，那該多好？
今天一早就到Dr Chan的家去拜年，這個拜年牽動了我的心。一大早就和以前的labmate&supervisor一起，大家在談的當然也免不了project和research咯，才發現，原來自己一直都還沒有放下成為lecturer的夢想。自己的心，已經不是第一次被牽動了。已經好幾次了，每次身邊一有人提起念master、做research等等的字眼，自己就會不自覺地想起自己所放棄的一切，就會開始問自己，到底這個選擇是不是對的？！
我絕對知道這是對的，但是自己的心，為什么就是那么草莓？無法放下這一個夢想呢？每每只想起自己失去的，卻不愿記得自己所得到的。。。
尤其今天，大家都在談著project，談著lab的一切，勾起了種種的回憶，曾幾何時，我也是當中的一員，可是今天的我，卻是那么遙遠的。
我承認，我舍不得放下，一次又一次地邀約Dr Chan、labmate們，不為什么，就只是想找回自己心中所缺少的那一角，research。在他們身上，可以聽到自己的夢想，雖然知道，它不再能實現，卻想借此找到一絲絲的安慰。每次的見面，都讓自己有一股沖動，想要回到追求夢想的那個時候。當然，今天 ，真的好想好想，卻又覺得干嘛自己的心那么的草莓。。。兩個惠佳在吵架。。。難受得落淚。。。
自己想做的，和自己應該做的，應該做哪一樣？如果自己的心是鐵珠，那該多好？
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